RESTRICTED

Employees Only

Badge access required. Smile at the camera. It notices everything.

POSTED BY: MANAGEMENTDATE: ONGOING

Employee Safety Bulletin

If the lights flicker, do not panic. If the lights go out entirely, panic quietly and in an orderly fashion.
Do not feed the cryptids in the back lot. They have a schedule. Your generosity disrupts it.
The badge reader reads mood as well as magnetic stripe. Keep both professional.
If you find a door that was not there yesterday, report it. Do not enter it. Note its size, texture, and whether it smells of cedar.
Bob is a coworker, not a resource. Treat him accordingly. Bob says this is not a joke.

— LDI Employee Relations — This notice supersedes all prior safety notices —

Badge Reader Status

Badge reader operational. System is logging all entries, denials, and hesitations. Hesitation counts as an attempt.

If your access is PENDING, it is being evaluated. This may take longer than expected. This is intentional.

Today's Access Log

Time	ID	Name	Status	Note
1994-10-31 23:47	EMP-0003	—	GRANTED	Back entrance. Authorized. Do not follow.
2003-07-14 02:13	EMP-0007	—	GRANTED	Storage B. After-hours. Logged per Protocol 4.
2011-03-01 09:00	EMP-0012	—	GRANTED	Main floor. Regular shift begin.
2019-08-22 11:34	EMP-0001	Warden	GRANTED	Restricted Zone. Clearance: OMEGA. No further notes.
2021-12-13 03:03	EMP-????	Unknown	DENIED	Unrecognized badge. Not on file. Reviewed.
2023-05-07 17:59	EMP-0003	—	GRANTED	Storage B. Again. Third time this month.
2024-11-01 00:00	EMP-0000	[SYSTEM]	GRANTED	All points. System reset. Visitor log purged.
2026-06-20 21:14	EMP-0019	—	GRANTED	Broadcast Tower. Routine maintenance. Signal nominal.
NOW	VIS-000	YOU	PENDING	Evaluating

EMPLOYEES ONLY

Authorized staff, maintenance personnel, cryptids with valid badges, and Bob.