Roadside Wedding Chapel
Open Tuesdays and Fridays. Do not ask about the back room.
Standard: $12 — includes ceremony, witness signature (one cryptid), and a laminated certificate.
Deluxe: $18 — includes above, plus use of the plastic flowers and two folding chairs.
The organ plays by itself. This is normal.
// Appointments available Tuesdays and Fridays
// Please do not ask about the back room
// Rice provided. Cleanup is your responsibility.
Bob is licensed in this state and two others he won't name. He does not wear a suit. He does wear his badge. The ceremony will be brief, correct, and memorable in ways you may not anticipate.
Bob does not do destination weddings. Bob also does not explain why.
Guest Registry
These people were married here. We have no reason to doubt them.
"The organ played something we didn't request. It was better."
"We do not know what The Fog is. The certificate is valid."
"Request honored. Entry included anyway, anonymized. They seemed happy."
"This line was already filled in when we opened the book this morning."
"The flowers were lovely. The flowers were also watching me. I did not mind."
"We tried in Reno first. Something about this place felt more permanent. It was."
"I found what I was looking for. I am leaving it here for someone else. It is in the third pew on the left." — Item not found upon inspection.
Chapel Gift Shelf
A small selection. Bob curates it. Do not ask why he chose these items.
The door at the back of the chapel is not part of the venue. It is not part of the attraction. It predates the building.
If you hear something from behind it, inform the Warden. Do not open it on your own. Not because it is locked — it isn't — but because some things need to be approached correctly.
[ proceed — you were warned ]